Firstly it stars Brad Pitt and therefore I knew it would be most excellent. Not only is Brad Pitt very pleasing to the eye, even as he approaches his 50th birthday and his face is reflecting that fact, but I have never known him to make a bad movie. I liked many things about this film, the first being that it looked REAL, the characters were not Hollywood botoxed beauties, but real people with lines on their faces and somewhat grubby fingernails, and a haggard appearance, just as you would expect in this situation. I will not give the plot away, but the Zombies themselves were terrifying in that they were pretty casual and slow moving, even dormant, then when they heard a loud noise, sprung to life and moved with terrifying speed, snapping their mouths open and closed, making hideous clicking noises with their teeth. The scenes where the suspense stretched out for what seemed like a week left me feeling sick with tension, and I actually think I burnt up a lot of calories watching this film, my heart was beating so fast.
Anyway, movie over, we ventured Downtown where the Summer Solstice Festival was in full swing.
Despite what the tourism website may claim, there's not a lot to do here, so when something's going on Downtown, you better join in or miss out, even if it is just food stands and a man carving things with a chainsaw. They had made a large sandbox area for small children to play in (I hope someone was monitoring any potential cat activity) and somebody else had constructed an actual small pond in the street by means of wood and large sheets of plastic; there was a small worried looking child in a canoe being supervised by a man who was wading barefoot in what surely must have been 8 inches of pure icewater-remember this is Alaska, and although we have lately had gorgeous sunshine and high temperatures (except you can't go outside and enjoy it unless you also enjoy the attentions of the billions of ravenous (zombie?) mosquitoes....) it was pretty windy and chilly on Saturday afternoon by the time we got out of the cinema. As we walked through the park, the first thing we spotted was a zombie! There he was, dirty, disheveled, head hanging down, shuffling slowly and hesitantly......oh no wait! It was just a drunk Native Homie........ the unfortunate truth is that before you visit Alaska you have an image of happy Eskimos, cheerfully ice fishing and carving things out of bits of dead animals to help pass the long dark Winter. However, when you visit here or live here for any length of time you discover that an unfortunately large percentage have succumbed to their inherent weakness for alcohol, resulting in many toothless drunk Natives passed out on park benches, begging at traffic lights (why does the fact that you've written "God Bless" on your cardboard sign make it ok to beg from people who work and pay their taxes?) or arguing good naturedly at bus stops.... I say good naturedly, because,in my experience I have never been harassed or felt threatened by these people. Sure, at my previous bus stop there was almost always at least one asking me where I was from (I am British and proudly carry my Harrods bag with Union Jacks on it) or admiring me in some way or trying to give me things that I really, really don't want (drunken couple trying to persuade me to accept an almost lifesized grubby, stuffed Husky Dog toy please take note) but I never once felt afraid. I am at a new bus stop now on account of my work moving to a new venue, and I kinda miss my Homies, but I make do with watching the comings and goings at the Tattoo Parlour.
However, the point of my ramblings is this; I watched a Zombie movie which I thoroughly enjoyed, however it stayed with me long after the closing credits and I am not lying when I tell you it made me somewhat jumpy in large crowds, and I sensed Perfect Husband was experiencing the same effect. And this leads me to wonder; if the whole Zombie Apocalypse thing happened now, this very minute, how would I fare? What do I have about my person, clothing wise or equipment wise to survive this? (As I am currently wearing a Summer dress and flipflops, they would definitely need to be replaced by the trainers, fleece and other practical types of clothing that many people here wear on a daily basis, some of them even cheerfully.) What strengths do I possess, both physical and mental, to help me survive? Sure I could make my way to various shops and loot things, water, camping gear, weapons etc to help me, but more importantly, would I WANT to survive?
If the entire world as we know it is fast approaching Hell in a Handbag, Perfect Husband is miles away working out of town and Daughters One and Two are on an entirely different continent...if it's every one for themselves and every minute of every day is a terrifying struggle just to survive, with very little hope of life reverting to what it was before (yes I know we have many problems on this insignificant, tiny, overcrowded planet, but it's still home) I think I would most likely find my way to a jewellery shop, via a wine and chocolate shop, oh and Walmart first for a gun and some ammo, and have a drunken little party for one whilst trying on all the diamonds I can find, then going out in a blaze of glory. Or maybe not, I'm not sure. You should never give up hope, or there's no point being alive anyway. I suppose you never really know how you will actually act in certain circumstances until they happen.
Let's hope we never find out.
This is me as a Zombie, thanks to the Walking Dead app. Note the silk Union Jack Scarf, and diamond earrings. This is the only way to do Zombie. Fact.
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