I realize I have not written an entry for a while....nothing major has happened, just random stuff.
There have been no scary moose encounters, no mad people on the bus, no homeless people admiring my clothes, although to be fair my clothes are currently very hard to spot on my daily commute, hidden as they are under the Biggest Parka In The World.
We had a small Christmas Brunch at work, which was very pleasant. There was delicious food, presents and lots of hugs from two small girls who belong to a co-worker. These two are small, smiley, pretty, and were bedecked in pretty party dresses with flowers in their curly hair; they remind me of my own two when they were that age. Ours was a very girly household, and Husband Number One would often come home from work to find us all wearing multiple bows in our hair, or cries of "daddy, can you help me to plait my Barbie's hair?". Sadly he never learned how to.
I also got introduced to the (giant) family of a co-worker. I mean giant as in they are all over 6 feet tall, husband, wife and five kids; at four feet eleven inches tall myself, I felt like a Borrower throughout the whole conversation. (For those who don't know what Borrowers are, they are tiny people who live secretly in the walls of a house and borrow items from the family that live there, and they first appeared in a book by Mary Norton in the fifties.) Anyway, it turns out that one of these lofty daughters had spent much of the Summer getting the same bus as me, although I had never noticed her as she is perfectly normal and charming, and therefore has no entertainment value as far as me and my Blog goes.
Next was Christmas itself of course. Christmas Eve involved Step-Daughter and her Boyfriend, presents, games, Batman impressions and lots of alcohol. When they had left, Perfect Husband excused himself, stating that he was "going to go upstairs for a while, I may have a little vomiting to do..." so I stayed downstairs with Tiny Dog and watched "A Christmas Movie" which was playing on a loop. They do this every year and I had never managed to watch the whole thing, so I gave it my best shot. Naturally I fell asleep, and when I went upstairs at 1:30am (Christmas Day, woo-hoo!!) Perfect Husband was still lying on the bathroom floor. I enquired as to his health, but he assured me he was perfectly fine and would "just lie here for a little bit longer" so I left him to it and went to bed. Needless to say he did not die of alcohol poisoning or choking on partially digested snacks mixed with wine and shots, although he did indeed have more than a slight headache on Christmas Day, and moved at a noticeably slower pace than normal....
Christmas and New Year was pleasant; food, presents, drink, movies, all those good things, and I even managed to do my fitness dvd so that I could feel all virtuous whilst eating chocolate. ( I have also bought a new one for the sake of a little variety; I am currently fast becoming Queen of Hip-Hop, and I'm pretty sure that nobody can "Dig and Snake" like Yours Truly....) I also managed to work my way through almost the entire series of Harry Potter films, although I have the last two to go, so don't tell me what happens.
I made no New Year's Resolutions, I never do, although I have been very consistent with wearing my Body Shop shimmer sparkle on a daily basis, which is basically very fine sparkly powder, a bit like fairy dust that you spray wherever you wish. I am very pleased to announce that my phone at work is now all sparkly.
Also, it's been pretty quiet at work so I have introduced two of my co-workers to the delights of the zoocam, which are webcams that are set up in various zoos and animal sanctuaries around the world, and they are both now cooing over live footage of baby pandas....well, I had to do something to make up for forcing them to watch the video to Miley Cyrus' "Wrecking Ball".....
So, you may ask, that covers "Other Things" now what of this Maternal Rage? Well I shall tell you, dear Reader.
Fabulous Daughter Number One's Idiot Boyfriend broke up with her two days ago, leaving her sad and hurting. I am currently considering having him Publicly Flogged, or at least Tarred and Feathered, but as either of those things will lead to my arrest I shall have to console myself with random outbursts of outrage, plus seizing the opportunity to call him an Idiot and announce that he has Stupid Hair.
OF COURSE this happens to a lot of people, OF COURSE she will get over him, OF COURSE she will either find someone who deserves to call himself her boyfriend, or at least be happy on her own, but for now she is hurting, and so am I.
I actually live on an entirely different continent to my daughters, through exceptionally poor decision-making on my own part, but that doesn't mean I feel any less of a mother. I monitor their lives through a combination of Social Media, Phone calls, Skyping plus a Network of Spies, and I am most likely just as involved in their day as any other parent, more so than some.
But it doesn't matter what the physical distance is if you love someone. The simple truth is, if they are hurting, then so are you. Just as when we found out that she needed glasses from the age of seven, and I felt terribly guilty for giving her stupid faulty genes that meant she had less than perfect eyesight and implored the teachers to beat without mercy any children they heard teasing her, just as when she got the letter stating that she hadn't got a place at the school of her dreams and I rang the local education authority and harassed them until they checked and double- checked (yup- clerical error; turns out she HAD been given a place after all but some illiterate employee had pressed the wrong button on the computer), just as she missed her offer of accommodation at University through her own silly mistake and I called her and tried my best to give her the confidence and reassurance to find her own accommodation (of course she managed to do so, she's a smart cookie, that one), just as she has had to navigate her way through many other sad and painful situations, I have tried my very best to give her love and reassurance. I may not always be able to fix everything, but at least I can cry with her, drink wine with her, hate the entire world with her (just for a short while) and when she is on an even keel again, smile with her.
That's my job as a Mother, one which I can do from anywhere. I can also think evil thoughts about Idiot Boyfriend from anywhere, but I shall refrain because I am soooo much better than that. Just know this, Idiot: if you are on foot one day and a car races through a puddle and splashes you from head to foot, it may just be because I have wished for it to be so.....
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