Ha ha ha, those that know me will know that the title is somewhat of a joke....... I make it a rule only to run if there is a sale on in the shoe shop!! BUT, I have just turned 45 and am in need of a little toning if I'm honest. I'm not overweight, I don't smoke or do drugs so things aren't too bad but there's always a little room for improvement right? So I took the plunge and bought a fitness dvd. Not one of those rock hard fitness nazis that shout at you from your tv, making you feel terrified, intimidated and paranoid (you realize that they can't actually escape from your tv and beat you over the head with their wrist weights for being so unfit and uncoordinated, but you remained terrified all the same) oh no, none of that for me. My choice of torture is a dance dvd, which promises to make getting fit fun, not to mention giving you sexy, sculpted curves- and all for the princely sum of $12.99- how could I refuse? The instructor looks like she would give Jenny From The Block a good run for her money, what with her street dance outfit, tattoos and hoop earrings, but she smiled a lot and had a very tiny and well toned torso, so I figured she must know what she's doing. I moved the coffee table out of the way, clearing myself a little fitness space and pressed "play" (Perfect Husband was away working so I didn't have to worry about making a fool of myself in front of anyone other than the dogs). The first part is a breakdown (not nervous, that will come later I'm sure) of the ten dance steps used in the fitness routines. As I began, frowning with concentration and realizing that Maybe I Can Actually Do This, the two dogs who had been mightily confused by me moving the coffee table, crept closer and observed. Whiney Dog immediately threw herself onto the rug and rolled onto her back with her legs in the air, twitching and making weird groaning noises (I affectionately term this noise the "Let me sing you song of my people" noise). This meant one of two things; either she was having a fit of the dramatics in an attempt to get a biscuit out of me, or she was actually trying to join in....?! Small Rescue Dog just sat near my feet looking up at my windmilling arms with her head on one side, considering the situation. When it became apparent to her that she had not picked a wise spot to make her observations she retreated to the settee and watched me from there.
After I had mastered the dance moves (I use the word "mastered" in the loosest possible sense) it was on to the Main Event. There was a warm up, which I enjoyed immensely, I can do this, I thought, I didn't even need to be told what a grapevine was- I have skills! Then the three fitness routines brought me crashing back to reality, and the realization of how superbly uncoordinated I am...... it's not that I'm completely useless; I have excellent rhythm, have done dance and fitness classes before and can usually pick up a routine fairly quickly, but the whole legs and arms things was a perfect reminder of how stewed up my brain is these days! To an observer it probably looked pretty amusing, and whilst I might not get many points for style and technical ability, I'm pretty sure I deserve some for sheer enthusiasm! Then there was the cool down (not really necessary in Alaska in September) and then it was over. Success! I had completed the workout, hadn't killed myself or the dogs, and even had enough energy left to move the coffee table back. So to celebrate I had two slices of cold pizza and a glass of wine for my dinner, then I went off to shower like a champ.......
I will not subject you to a photo either of me sweating, eating pizza, or showering, but instead I will treat you to this photo of Small Rescue Dog having a bath in the kitchen sink....enjoy.
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