Beware of Witches!

So today's story is not something that happened to me, but something that happened to Perfect Husband yesterday. He drives for a wine and beer distributor, delivering to various shops and bars. As there is rather a large problem with alcoholism here in Alaska, he is usually welcomed warmly by the patrons of each bar he delivers to; sometimes people have even saluted him when he drives in to the car park; amusing but sad... Often when he goes into a bar at 11am with his delivery there will be people in there drinking already. It's rather sad to waste your every waking minute slowly killing yourself in a dark, smoke filled bar in the middle of nowhere, but each to his own I suppose.
Yesterday Perfect Husband entered a bar on his usual delivery route, and there sitting in a dark corner was a rather wizened old lady who is always there; she doesn't normally speak to him but yesterday she told him she thought he had lovely skin. Needless to say, this strange "compliment" disturbed him rather, and for the rest of the day he was concerned that she might have been making plans to turn him into a lampshade or something similar. After we had discussed this I reassured him that, as his wife, if anyone was going to turn him into a lampshade it would be me, but I have a theory that this wizened old crone is actually a witch, and is devising a plan to capture Perfect Husband, keep him in a cage and use his tears in her spells. (That is what witches almost always do with tears, don't ask me how I know this, I just do.)
So today's picture is my illustration of said witch and her dastardly plans for my poor, innocent husband. It will be a shame if this does actually happen, because he does all the cooking and also reaches things down for me off high shelves.
I will miss him.